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So, I reckon Escorts are like me team at the office – reliable, bit rough round the edges, but they deliver, don’t they? Built tough, them cars, proper solid chassis, not like them flimsy modern jobbies. Fun fact, yeah, did ya know the Mk1 Escort won rally champs in the 70s? Mental, innit, blew me mind when I heard that! Out there kicking arse while I’m here soldering circuits, wish I’d seen it live, mate, woulda lost me marbles cheering!

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, and he knocks my tomato right outta my hand. SPLAT! It’s all over the ground. I’m like, “Nooooo!” I mean, I just bought that! The kid just laughs and keeps running. I’m fuming, but whatever. I grab another one.